"I'm a Star!" or "Why JV soccer is better than varsity"

We had our jv soccer end of season banquet on Sunday, which was a little tough considering the Dance-A-Thon was saturday/sunday. As a send-off for the seniors who played with me, many of whom played jv specifically because it was fun, I got them the same hot pink soccer socks that I own and wear to practice on occasion. The boys also pooled some money and got me and my assistant some gifts, which they put in an easter basket. They put a lot of thought into it, so it consisted of inside jokes like O'Doul's non-alcoholic beer, and personal stuff like a motorcycle magazine. They mentioned that there was one last part that they would be presenting during town meeting. So today they called me and my assistant, John Paulson, up and presented us with a certificate signifying a star named in our honor as the Erath-Paulsen JV Soccer Love Star. So there is now a star in the region of Ursa Major (I forget the exact location and designation, but it's on the certificate that is being placed in the school's trophy case)named in tribute of me.