Talking

I realized a while ago that my personality involves a roadblock. It's been on my mind since Amy and I split, because I've now lost the person I used to talk to about all of the little stuff that was going on in my life. I miss that. As well as I do without being close to other people, it's nice to have someone to share the little things with. So, eventually I'm going to have to develop some other relationships if I want that to be part of my life.

So here's the roadblock. I bond with people by talking with them. Not idle chat, but conversation about things we think about and care about. I have to have at least one conversation like that before I really consider someone to be my friend, and once they are, then they get locked in, and I can go a long time without talking with them, and yet pick up easily and naturally when we get together again. However, social situations in which I typically encounter new people aren't structured for this. As a result, I sort of have to wait for those opportunities to come along. I can't go make a new friend by going to a party and chatting with a few people. When I do that, I can have a good time, but I've forgotten everyone's name by the end of the night, and the next time I see them it will feel to me almost as if we never met. So how do I make new friends when the situations present within our society for making new friends doesn't work for me?

I feel like I'm typically left to the winds of fate creating the situation for me, rather than being able to take deliberate action on my part. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this way, but it's still annoying. I've gotten pretty good at being able to avoid small talk and have real conversations with people, but it still seems to be too much work in most cases, and that it's easier to not even think about it.