A matter of convenience

I live a convenient life. What I mean by that, is that all of the parts fit together. I do things when they are convenient to me, with the exception of a few responsibilities. Those of you with kids, please hold your fire. I clean when it's convenient. My place is often messy, but that's the trade-off, and I don't mind messy. I go to the gym when it's convenient, which some weeks is only once or twice. I run errands when it's convenient. One great thing about living this way is I waste little labor. By not having to do things by some set point, I'm typically far more efficient, which means that despite seeming to put little effort into my life, I accomplish a surprising amount.

Here's the rub...relationships are about the most inconvenient things in the world for me. I find that in basically every aspect of them, from just meeting someone, through dating and into serious commitment they complicate my life, making things less convenient and leaving me able to accomplish less. They ultimately require an alteration of my life, which is a bit scary considering how awesome my life is. So the question that I end up asking myself, is "is it worth the risk?" I still find it completely ridiculous that during the 2 separate occasions that Amy and I dated we ended up doing long distance for more than 1/2 of it each time. Was it ultimately worth it? Was my marriage?

I don't gamble, not because I am morally opposed to it, although I think it's a negative aspect of society (as is soda), but because it's a losing game. I like the odds in my favor before I risk something and I won't risk something I can't recover that has value to me. Money I can get back. A life you can't. You have to build a new one and it's never the same.

So I find myself unwilling to take any risks when it comes to beginning a new romantic relationship, and instead evaluating things in terms of convenience. "She seems like a great girl, but:
-she lives in X. I don't want to be driving/flying to X all of the time."
-she's significantly younger/older than me."
-if we break up, dancing would be awkward with both of us there."

and all manner of similar things that all have to do with circumstance and nothing to do with who they are as a person. The worst part is that there's someone who I find completely intriguing, who from the modest amount I know about her seems like not only an amazing person, but someone who would be a really good fit for me and vice-versa, who I find interesting and intriguing, and I'm most likely not going to do anything about it, because doing so would require a pretty immediate change in my life and way of thinking, and more major changes down the road if things actually worked out, to the point that I don't know if I would even want it to work out. What does it say about a person when they can imagine the fairytale and still think that in the end it still might not be worth it? I may not be sure what it says, but I'll tell you what it does. It makes me question whether I know myself too well or not well enough.

If the situation was just more convenient, none of this would even be an issue.